Friday, October 7, 2011

Inspired by Girls Who Don't Really Like Metal

Inspired by this article on Metal Sucks, I've preempted by Napalm Death live review to bring you a few words about girls and metal. At least from my perspective and opinion.
First, my wife doesn't like metal. She doesn't pretend to like metal. The only metal she likes is a couple Rob Zombie tunes and that's not even metal. Thankfully, she doesn't like Country Music either. Otherwise, I wouldn't have married her. So, I got to thinking, if I wasn't married what would I think of "metal chicks"?
a) Most of the young women I see at metal shows are too young for me anyway. I'm an old man now. More grey hair than black but not really because of age. With a hat on, I still get ID'ed sometimes. Anyway,...

Would I want to have a girlfriend/wife that loved metal as much as I do? I don't really know. On one hand, it would be really great to listen to Black Metal at breakfast, and Death Metal at dinner, Sludge at supper etc. I would have someone to watch my Immolation DVD with, a reason to get my old Sepultura VHS tapes out of the garage, and not have to listen to the crap on the radio all the time. But on the other hand, she would want to go to all the metal shows with me, right? Do I want that? Will she DD? Metal shows are kind of my escape. A night out by myself to let loose. I don't even have to drink or get high. I just rage. I end up sore for days but I have a good time. I don't go out and shoot pool or hang out a sports bar with my friends. I just go to metal shows. So, if my wife were to come to all those shows too because she was a "metal chick" what would I do? Not hang out at a sports bar alone, that's for sure.
If my wife liked all the same stuff I do, (metal, sports, sci-fi/fantasy, logging etc) would I find that sexy? Or would it feel like just having a female best friend that you sleep with? Ya sure, I get frustrated sometimes that I can't talk to her (or anyone really, I'm kind of isolated in terms of like minded friends) about the amazing new Krallice album, or how much I hate the Yankees, or Arthur C. Clarke's Rama series, or how I need a new chainsaw chain etc. but say she didn't LIKE the new Krallice album, then what would I do? I think this way, where I have my own shit, and she has hers, is better in the long run. Sure, I have to listen to Selena Gomez (kids) and Adele (wife) and I can't watch every Chicago Blackhawks game on tv but I love my wife just the way she is.
Besides, I don't know about other guys, metal nerds or not, but I am not automatically attracted to a woman just because she is wearing a Skeletonwitch t-shirt or has rad tattoos. It helps, but if she's not attractive, she's not attractive. Plain and simple. A musical preference isn't going to change that. Also, for me anyway, too much makeup is a turn off. And I see lots of makeup on the faces of the bodies wearing some of those shirts.
I guess what I am trying to say is, it would be cool if my wife liked metal. Just not as much as me.

As far as the article goes. I really hope it's tongue-in-cheek. Otherwise, it's bullshit. I believe women can love metal just as much as guys. I "know" lots of them. I see lots of them. Killing themselves in the pit with the rest of us. Girls don't voluntarily get beat up so guys notice them. That doesn't make sense. "Hey, I have a black eye and a bloody nose. Wanna make out?" No, thanks.
Granted, there ARE people, women and men alike that think it's cool to wearing Maiden shirts and the like without knowing anything about the band. To whom I would refer to this video.

Did I make any sense or did I just waste some of my precious time? Hey, whatever happened to Most Precious Blood?

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