Wednesday, January 4, 2012

2011's Less Than Impressed List

The following is a list of albums that I may or may not have necessarily expected to like, but in any case, failed to impress me. Sometimes I got all the way through the album. Sometimes not. Sometimes I even made it through multiples times! I can be a sucker for punishment sometimes.
In no particular order:
Lou Reed/Metallica - Lulu: I made it through this piece of shit four fucking times and lived to tell about it. It ended up being my most read blog post ever. But some scars never heal. 
Anthrax - Worship Music: Weaksauce. I much prefer John Bush-era 'Thrax to Belladonna. Now anyway.
Revocation - Chaos of Forms: I'm sorry. I just don't get them.
Pestilence -  Doctrine: I thought I liked their previous album. Did I? Or am I just misremembering?
MonstrO: Yawn. Would someone just piss on the camp fire already so we can go to bed?
Autopsy - Macabre Eternal: Some death metal is just not for everyone.
Trivium - In Waves: In one ear and out the other. I don't remember a thing about it other than it sucked.
Turisas - Stand Up and Fight: Not worth bloodying my knuckles.
Chimaira - Age of Hell: I once fell asleep during a Chimaira concert. Literally. In the middle of the day. On a concrete floor. I could have fallen asleep to this too but I never finished the album.
Devildriver - Beast: Seriously. "Shitlist"? And to think I once wore a Coal Chamber patch on my backpack with pride.
Limp Bizkit - Gold Cobra: At least I assume it's shit. I'm not putting myself through that.
Korn - The Path of Totality: See Limp Bizkit.
Jasta: Um. Stick to Kingdom of Sorrow. Or Hatebreed. Or even Icepick.
Chelsea Grin - My Damnation: My decision making abilities were obviously impaired.
Morbid Angel - Illud Divinum Insanus: If I have to explain......
Dimmu Borgir - Abrahadabra: Rubbish. Not a fan of symphonics.
Kittie - I've Failed You: Yes. Yes you have.
Opeth- Heritage: Margaret Atwood reading one of her books aloud would be more stimulating.
Flourishing - The Sum of All Fossils: I should like this but it didn't do anything for me.
The Devin Townsend Project - Deconstruction/Ghost: See Flourishing.
Brutal Truth - End Time: See Flourishing.
The Black Dahlia Murder - Ritual: Am I just too old?
In Flames - Sounds of a Playground Fading: Did ANYONE like this?
The Haunted - Unseen: See In Flames.
Arch Enemy - Khaos Legions: I don't even think Gossow is hot.
Explosions In The Sky - Take Care, Take Care, Take Care: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
The Atomic Bitchwax - The Local Fuzz: This band seems to have a short half-life.
Just think of all that wasted bandwidth.

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